"Never forget, must be very sad"? Why is there such a mentality? Are we all prone to rumination? What is rumination? The following is a collection of reasons I collected for you. Let's have a look!
Never forget, must be very sad - beware of the abyss of "rumination thinking"!
Author: Logistic
In the sitcom biography of Wulin, shopkeeper Tong Xiangyu has a classic line:
Err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err, err
(this is a voice line!)
The exaggerated lines not only reflect the personality characteristics of Tong Xiangyu, but also vividly reflect the process of rumination thinking.
01
What is rumination?
Maybe in life, we all have similar experiences:
After breaking up with the other half who has been in love for many years, he kept recalling the happy time, constantly reflecting on whether he had done something wrong, and even desperately thought that he would never fall in love with anyone again and die alone; Or when you do your homework presentation in front of the whole class, you will think that everyone is laughing at you when you think about that scene, and then blame yourself for not making good preparations before, and worry that you will be embarrassed in the next report;
Or after the death of a loved one who loves you very much, he can't let go of his thoughts and complain that he didn't repay him well before he died;
......
We can see that after these unfortunate events, the process of individuals constantly, repeatedly and passively paying attention to painful events and their feelings, as well as the possible causes and consequences of these events is rumination thinking.
Some scholars believe that rumination thinking is a "mode of action". When the problems we deal with are objective and of the external world, it is beneficial and can drive us to achieve our goals. But when we are faced with personal and internal problems (such as dealing with a certain idea or emotion), it will bring great problems.
02
Rumination can easily lead us into a strange circle:
In order to change our current painful feelings, we spend a lot of time trying to understand our problems and personal deficiencies, hoping to help ourselves find ways to reduce them. But it is just the opposite. In this mental state, repeatedly "thinking" about its negative aspects or the situation with problems will only make the mood more depressed and can not solve the problem.
The hero in Chekov's short story the death of an official is the best example.
The protagonist accidentally sprayed the bald general in front of him when sneezing in the theater. Although the general told him it didn't matter, he was very worried. In order to alleviate his worry, he apologized to the general many times. The general said again and again that he would not be held accountable, but he was always worried and was scared to death.
In addition, people who fall into rumination for a long time may affect interpersonal relationships and lose social support, which in turn will aggravate rumination itself. Another classic figure in Literature - Sister Xianglin is just like this.
After her child was eaten by a wolf, Sister Xianglin told everyone about her son's death and her tragic experience. Because she said it too many times, the villagers gradually hated her. (of course, the Xianglin sister-in-law in Lu Xun's works more reflects the cruelty of the times at that time, and this article only takes this as an example.)
In fact, any interpersonal relationship often depends on the interaction between two people. When one of them falls into rumination thinking, only cares about his own affairs and cannot consider the needs of the other party, the relationship will naturally break down. This is also illustrated in a study of bereaved adults. Although ruminants are more likely to seek social support after losing loved ones, they tend to report more social friction and less emotional support from others (Nolen hoeksema & Davis, 1999). Other studies have also shown that people with deep rumination are less popular (J.L. Schwartz & McCombs, 1995).
03
Moreover, studies have shown that the score of rumination thought measured by the scale can effectively predict the occurrence of depression, anxiety, drug abuse, eating disorders and possible self harm. In view of the serious consequences that ruminant thinking may bring, how can we adjust when we are hit by life setbacks to avoid falling into the abyss of "ruminant thinking"?
1. Divert attention
Each individual's cognitive resources are limited. It is difficult for us to pay attention to two things and process information at the same time. For example, drawing a circle with the left hand and a square with the right hand is a difficult task.
Rumination thinking is also a process that needs to consume cognitive resources. When we are in the state of rumination thinking, by arranging some neutral or even positive activities (such as jogging and gathering with friends), we can shift all the attention originally focused on negative thoughts to new activities and break the vicious circle. Even if an individual does not indulge in meditation for a short time, he may reassess the reality and take practical actions to solve problems, instead of falling into the abyss of ruminating thinking.
2. mindfulness
Mindfulness, or mindfulness, is usually a way to divert our attention from the body. In addition, the principle of mindfulness is to focus uncritically on the here and now - when a negative idea comes into being, we don't dig into how it comes into being or predict what serious consequences it may bring. It just appears and disappears naturally.
In fact, the researchers also proved this with experiments. After systematic mindfulness training, the activation of negative thoughts decreased significantly, and this phenomenon still exists over time. (Segal et al., 2002; Teasdale et al., 1995).
3. psychological counseling
If you still find yourself unable to get rid of rumination and immerse yourself in negative emotions after simple adjustment, you can also seek the help of professional psychological counseling. Previous studies have shown that cognitive therapy and interpersonal therapy are effective interventions.
In the past, I thought "rumination thinking" was a psychological term far away from me, but not long ago, the breakdown of a relationship made me deeply aware of it. It turned out that at that time, the whole thinking mode was really in a mode of "negative thoughts" circulating. Of course, because I still have some knowledge in this field, and I am sensitive to my own awareness. Finally, I succeeded in coming out. If you can't adjust at this moment, I suggest you seek professional help.