"More and more disobedient, always against us", "unwilling to communicate with us", "always secretly playing games"... If you are in adolescence, do your parents often complain like this? Adolescence is often associated with "rebellion". In foreign countries, people often use words like "storm" to describe adolescence. Why does adolescence seem so turbulent?
Adolescence is "adolescence" in English, which comes from Latin "adolescence", which means "grow to maturity". When we were children, we depended almost entirely on our parents, both materially and emotionally. As adults, we can be self reliant and emotionally independent. Puberty is between the two. It is like a bridge connecting immature childhood and mature adulthood. This is a transitional stage, a process from dependence to independence. Like a bird leaving its nest, a child must eventually leave the shelter of his parents and prop up the sky on his own.
"Transition" means instability. This instability stems from three aspects. First, the great physiological changes in adolescence make it difficult for teenagers to adapt for a while. After puberty, the levels of sex hormones, adrenocortical hormones and other hormones have changed dramatically. Under the action of these hormones, teenagers' bodies grow and develop rapidly. Sometimes, these physiological changes will bring trouble to teenagers, and then lead to some psychological and behavioral problems.
Second, the social attributes of teenagers are changing quietly. Before puberty, children mainly establish close relationships with family members. But after adolescence, teenagers pay more and more attention to the friendship between their peers and have a strong interest in communicating with the opposite sex. Third, teenagers' cognitive level has been significantly improved, but they are still not mature enough, so they sometimes can't control their behavior well.
In addition, there are differences between parents and teenagers in life attitudes and behavior habits, which is an important reason for parent-child conflict. Parents are experienced middle-aged people who often feel that their children are reckless, naive and unreliable. Adolescent children are vigorous and like to explore new things, so they often feel that their parents are too cautious, rigid and boring. This has produced what people often call the "generation gap".