If a wise man thinks a lot, he will make a mistake. Even if a person with independent thinking ability is not careful, he will fall into the mud pit of interpersonal control or emotional control and make less independent thinking. What kind of state should we reach before we can see the realm of independent thinking? The answer is uncertain. The following is a complete collection of reasons I sorted out for you. Let's have a look!
Why are really good people not gregarious?
Text / fog over the river
"1. Independent thinking"
The most successful person is the one who is best at thinking independently.
The word "independent thinking" is rotten. However, considering the social attribute of human beings living in groups, our thinking is disturbed by various factors all the time. No matter how wise people are, they dare not say how much independent value their thinking has.
But we know that if we can't think independently, it will reduce the quality of thinking and let us live under extreme depression and great pressure.
Don't be depressed, be happy; Don't stress, deal with life easily.
We must master the basic skills of independent thinking.
"2. 7 factors hindering thinking"
To learn to think independently, the first step is to find out what factors hinder our thinking.
First, ubiquitous interpersonal control. There are always people who want to expand their living space by controlling you.
Second, the natural control of social environment. Man is a person of society and is naturally affected by the surrounding environment. To feel that today is not yesterday is to find your previous stupidity with the change of environment.
Third, the control of daily habits. Inherent habits constitute our way of life, but it is precisely this habit that shrinks our IQ.
Fourth, natural emotion control. Man is a man of true temperament, with a natural sense of happiness, anger, sadness, likes and dislikes. But being too emotional will reduce rationality and make us become emotional slaves.
Fifth, inherent concept control. As people grow up, experience forms daily ideas and solidifies our brains. The higher the degree of solidity, the more rigid our thinking becomes.
Sixth, personality control. The higher the degree of socialization, the easier it is to adapt to the environment. But this adaptation has an impact on our individuality, so human beings naturally have the instinct to resist socialization.
Seventh, the inherent defect control of the brain. We all know a lot, but the brain doesn't work as you expect. It always follows an inherent pattern.
Aware of these obstacles that hinder our independent thinking, regular scanning and retrieval will promote our thinking and form the ability of independent thinking over time.
"3. Interpersonal control"
Feng Lun once cited an example. For example, if you drive carelessly and violate the rules, you should be fined 50 yuan. But the traffic police on the scene, your good friend, immediately waved a big hand: my brother, I'm here, let's go.
Wow, your heart is in full bloom. It's your brother. Save 50 yuan and have face! But this face needs to pay the bill.
Before long, the traffic police came to you: Hey, brother, your siblings are idle at home and have no work. Can they be arranged in your company? Then arrange it, but pay an extra 1000 yuan a month.
The wife of the traffic police brother was arranged into the company. But two months later, the traffic police called: Hey, I said, man, what's the matter with your company? Why is management so chaotic? Your sister-in-law is bullied every day in your company. Isn't she with a low education? Low education is also human and human rights!
Look at this... You have no choice but to talk over the phone: look, brother, can we do this? Sister in law, she doesn't have to come to the company, but I give her a salary. I give her 24000 a year!
Feng Lun said: look, it's only 50 yuan. You can get it. Twenty four thousand grottoes are opened every year. People don't want it.
Why? Because of interpersonal control.
"4. How to deal with interpersonal control?"
Some people control others through interpersonal communication. It's just that I helped you, and you have to help me in love. However, it's a small effort or even generous public to help you, but if you help him, you will fall into a black hole of affairs and often can't meet each other's expectations.
Interpersonal control, everywhere. If you are too face saving, too eager to please others, too eager for recognition, too worried about being despised by others, too soft and indecisive, and dare not refuse everything, in short, you are too fragile and will inevitably become the prey of interpersonal control.
How to deal with it? First, dilute your anxiety, fear and guilt.
Secondly, we should accept the business rules of adults, not easily trouble others, and refuse anyone's arbitrary requirements. All your actions and abilities in this world are valuable, and so are others. Always respect the value of others and your own. This principle will no longer constitute the rule of business.
"5. Environmental control"
Interpersonal control is easy to break, but environmental control is more difficult.
There is a video on the Internet. A group of people are waiting for a doctor outside the clinic. At this time, a lady came. She was surprised to find that there was a bell outside the consulting room, which made a regular beep. Every time the bell rang, all the waiting people stood up and bowed slightly - in fact, these waiting people were all Tuo, arranged by the experimenter to confuse the only experimental woman.
At first, the lady refused to follow the crowd and sat alone. But the bell rang more and more quickly, and the people around stood up regularly, becoming more and more nervous and serious. Finally, the lady couldn't hold it, so she stood up and bowed.
In this way, the personnel who induced the experimenters withdrew one by one, and new patients kept coming.
Soon, outside the consulting room, there were all real patients. All patients stood up and bowed at the sound of the bell as the lady moved.
This is called herd effect, also known as herd effect.
Since childhood, we live in a group environment. The teacher asked us to follow the crowd, go to class together and do exercises on the playground together. Mavericks will be severely punished. Over time, we have become accustomed to following others - but as we know, those who achieve careers are those who refuse to follow blindly and jump out of herding.
How to jump out of herding? It is nothing more than clarifying the real social rules and the difference between them and imagination. The real rule is nothing more than the boundary of individual rights - interestingly, the person with the strongest herd effect is the one who does not respect the rights of others. They will think that power is boundless and that individual rights are nothing. But in fact, as long as you realize that power is only exercised within the inherent scope, your mind will be clear.
"6. Habit control"
The third is to break through the control of inherent habits.
For example, we are used to saving money. We would rather live far away from the company and run around endlessly every day. We are tired and exhausted like a dog. It seems to save money, but because you are too tired, you have no spare time to study and progress, but you lose more and better opportunities.
Challenge your most stubborn habits every month. Go to places you haven't been to and see scenery you haven't seen. Read a book you never imagined you would read and meet unexpected people.
Habit is just an inherent way of life. Lifestyle changes, habits change naturally.
"7. Emotion control"
Fourth, you must know what you want and try to get rid of emotional control.
Cai Kangyong once wrote a paragraph for those who were trapped in strong emotions: the school was bad and the class was boring. Have you refused to study and read since then to protest? Kill in the wrong direction. They failed in teaching, and they screwed up their work. You refuse to study and read. You're ruining your life. This is not a protest, but self mutilation. The object of your protest is senseless, and you taste the bitter fruit yourself. Just like you ate three bad restaurants in a row, did you go on a hunger strike to protest?
I know the truth. I can't do it. What should I do?
Easy to do, remember one rule: express your emotions, not your emotions.
For example, you can tell the other party: your practice makes me very unhappy, you know? Instead of yelling: what do you want? If you dare to do this again, believe it or not... You must remember to let the other party know your emotions, rather than arousing the other party's confrontation with extreme emotion.
"8. Inherent concept control"
Fifth, break through the inherent concept control.
For example, you firmly believe that being rich is unkind. Suddenly, someone said: you know, rich Zuckerberg is shameless enough. He bought a piece of land and went to court to expel the aborigines on the land.
As soon as you hear this, it explodes. You see, I knew Zuckerberg was not a good thing. He always welcomed refugees into the country, but he wanted to drive the poor out of his home. What a hypocrisy!
When you hear the news that is consistent with your ideas, you immediately accept it.
But the news is false.
It can't be said to be false. The reality is that Zuckerberg really sued. It's true. But in fact, there was only one resident on the site, and Zuckerberg sued jointly with the only neighbor.
Which one are they suing?
The joint prosecution of Zuckerberg and his neighbors is just a means. The purpose is to find out the owners who may have property rights disputes on the land he purchased. Because the land property right is extremely complex, some people sell the land to you and claim to own all the property rights, but in fact, his seven aunts and seven aunts far away from the ends of the earth may have some property rights. If you don't find these people, there may be trouble in the future.
But if you want to find these people, it's impossible. How do you know who they are and in which country? How much property right do you own the land you buy? It can't be found, and it can't be found. Therefore, the United States generally allows the court to find it for itself by means of prosecution. If you find someone, we should quickly sit down and discuss and see what to do about it.
What you believe or don't believe is just an inherent concept.
Your idea is just a habit of growing up in the past, which is far from the real world.
"9. Concept control"
To break through the control of old ideas, we must maintain the spirit of doubt.
Once you believe in it, you may be wrong.
"10. Personality control"
Sixth, we should break through our own personality control.
Human growth is a process of accepting social ideas and confronting them at the same time.
The most perfect life is to experience the vicissitudes of life, but still maintain the innocence of the soul. But sometimes, the growth of life is not so ideal. It is often to suffer all kinds of hardships and still not change the stupidity of the past.
To pass this pass, we must recognize human nature. That is commonly referred to as transposition thinking. Don't assume that everyone is the same as us. They have their own experiences and difficulties. When your thinking can accommodate different modes of thinking, this level is passed.
"11. Control of inherent brain defects"
The last step is to fight against brain defects.
The brain has its solidified neural operation mode. We should learn from the wise, but it is difficult for the brain to change its original intention. We vowed to let ourselves gain wisdom and freedom, but the operation of the brain is still in several inherent grooves and loops. So many people swear for a long time, and their brains don't cooperate at all.
It sounds like this level is very difficult.
But in fact, this level is the easiest. Just remember the three dead cycles when the brain is running, and it's almost enough:
The first dead cycle: the brain is infatuated with everything inherent in us to the extent that it can't dial itself;
The second dead cycle: the brain doesn't pay much attention to what we get, but it goes around the cycle we lose;
The third dead cycle: the brain takes itself as the yardstick to measure all things, and everything takes itself as the center. No matter how wise a person is, he goes around these three traps every day. But wise people, knowing they are in the ditch, will smile and face their mistakes. But those who are alienated from wisdom find it hard to realize that they are wrong.
"12. Independent thinking is a process"
Repeat the previous content to obtain the ability of independent thinking. It is roughly necessary to pass seven levels:
The first is to break through interpersonal control,
The second is to break through environmental control;
The third is to break through the habit control,
The fourth is to break through emotional control;
The fifth is to break through the concept control,
The sixth is to break through personality control,
The last is to fight against the natural deficiency of the brain for a long time.
At this point, we can understand that the so-called independent thinking is not a solidified state, but a continuous process.
If a wise man thinks a lot, he will make a mistake. Even if a person with independent thinking ability is not careful, he will fall into the mud pit of interpersonal control or emotional control and make less independent thinking.
What kind of state should we reach before we can see the realm of independent thinking? The answer is uncertain.
To be sure, the longer you think about this and the deeper you immerse yourself in it, the clearer your brain will become and the more agile your thinking will become. Your life career will be easier and easier. On the contrary, on the contrary.